How pretty are the leaves right now? If you aren’t in New England maybe you don’t know what I’m talking about but here in New England, there is nothing more breathtaking. If you don’t believe me, google it. It’s the best.
As I was driving through the colorful scenery today, I was reminded that fall is a fantastic representation that there can be so much beauty in the end of one season and in the beginning of another.
I began to think back to where I was at last year-physically, emotionally and spiritually and it felt like a lifetime ago. I look back at that person and I barely recognize her anymore. She was emotionally drained, physically exhausted, discouraged, anxious. She felt unloved, betrayed and alone. She had trusted her own plan and it was falling apart before her eyes.
I didn’t know who I was anymore. I didn’t know where I was headed. I had lost the identity I had created for myself. There was nowhere to hide anymore.
Sometimes our walls have to be taken down in order for our hearts to be exposed. It’s a painful process. It’s raw and rugged and it’s never straight-forward. You feel exposed and sometimes ashamed or embarrassed. Sometimes you scurry and try to rebuild the pieces by yourself which often times makes it worse. Ultimately, when your walls crumble, you begin to access what kind of foundation you have and how solid that foundation really is(or isn’t.)
I was raised with a firm foundation but I wasn’t choosing to stand on it. I chose a different path to walk on. Although, I wasn’t walking through life, I was strutting. I thought I had it all figured out. To be frank, I tripped. I tripped over my own pride. I tripped a lot actually…and then I fell flat on my face. That hurt. How beautiful it was though, to look up from the dirt and notice Who was standing there with open arms ready to help me up.
I used to live in arrogance but now I can sit here and boast in my new identity in the One who rescued me from that foolish pride. I can boast in my new identity. I am flawed, unworthy but beloved.
When you believe in Someone so much bigger than yourself, when your identity is redefined as beloved, you start seeing the world through an entirely different lens.
Like the fall foliage, I began to see the beauty in a new season. I began to see the beauty of dying to my old self and sprouting new vibrant colors as a new creation in Jesus.
The journey is just getting started but it sure has already taken me places I would have never expected. It hasn’t always been easy, in fact so many times it’s been really hard. Letting go of certain things and embracing others does not just happen overnight. It’s a process.
I can tell you though, that in the midst of so many changes, I’ve never felt so secure. I’ve never been so certain of who I am and Who is guiding me to where I’m going.
I used to look at my life and feel lucky for certain things but now I look at my life and I know I am intentionally and purposely blessed.
You see, when you believe in Someone bigger than yourself, when your identity is transformed- you stop chalking up the good things in your life as luck. You are beloved and because of that, every single gift was hand picked for you. They didn’t just happen to fall into your lap- they were chosen because you are chosen. You are not lucky- you’re blessed. How cool is that?
So sprout, bloom, change colors but most importantly grow in whatever season you’re in, recognizing every blessing as a personalized gift. He is so good.