Growing In the Gray Zone

I’m a black and white kind of girl. Although spontaneity is something I enjoy and practice in the little things, when it comes to bigger issues in my life, I prefer to have definitive answers. Living in the “gray zone” is actually my worst nightmare. This is exactly why Jesus had me live in that gray zone for a season or two (….or three).

When we picture a gray area, we picture something gloomy and dark, like a rain cloud. It can definitely feel that way. Trust me when I tell you I’ve been there. Have you ever heard the quote “No rain, no flowers.”? There’s truth in that. Think of that rainy, grey cloud that is pouring down uncertainty into your life as a vice to grow a colorful garden full of faith and trust.

Living in a gray area is uncomfortable, but being comfortable doesn’t build your faith. There is so much power in discomfort. When the answers aren’t always black and white, your faith can fearlessly flourish in the gray area. The search for the answer is the answer! God has more for us. He is the solution. He has the answers.

Living in that gray area helped me grow. It made me brave. My steps became more intentional because of the fact that I didn’t know where my feet were headed. I know that sentence probably does not seem to make any sense. Allow me to elaborate.

Sometimes when we have definitive answers, we begin to think we have all the answers we need, so instead of carefully taking steps, we start making strides. We start making checklists. We start trusting our own human efforts to get us to where we’re going. When we have it “figured out”, we tend to stop looking up for continued guidance and begin to focus down at our moving feet. We stop being desperate to follow and start pressing forward to lead. This is detrimental and so dangerous. If we aren’t desperately looking up, we’re missing out on the journey God has in store for us.

Friends, by the grace of God I’m out of that gray season, but let me tell you something, He has not so subtly reminded me today that the only definitive black and white answer I have is to follow Him. I need to be desperate for His guidance. I need to be desperate to trust Him and Him alone for every single step. If I feel like I have all the answers, I start relying more on the answers than I do on the One is the answer.

So whatever season you’re in, I hope you are reminded today to be desperate in your pursuit of Him.

Desperately seek Him. Desperately depend on Him. Desperately love Him.

— xo —

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